


Why aren't you saving me?

by fangurks



Series: Merlin Oneshots [1]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Evil Morgana (Merlin), Help, I'm really bad at tagging, Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Mild hurt, but also kinda not whoops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-22
Updated: 2020-01-22
Packaged: 2021-02-24 21:27:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22364746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fangurks/pseuds/fangurks
Summary: "Is it true?", Arthur broke the silence."What?""What she said. That... you're a sorcerer."It's the episode where Morgana just stormed the castle, and the squad is trying to get it back, but things don't exactly go as planned.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Series: Merlin Oneshots [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1610836
Comments: 7
Kudos: 151





	Why aren't you saving me?

It was cold.

Merlin looked up into the sky. How amazing it could be, right? Especially at night.

"Can't you sleep?"

Merlin tore his eyes from the stars away and looked up to his friend. "Mhm", was all he could muster to say. It really was a beautiful night, one of the prettiest sights he had ever seen. "Me too", Arthur mumbled foolishly and both of the brothers glared at the moon, once more.  
The night seemed to be lovely. Calm. Peaceful.  
But it would soon turn into something horrific and fearful. Just as Morgana did.

The king noticed his friend's stare, sighing: "Why?" None of them knew the answer. But still, Arthur couldn't help but ask. Couldn't help but to try and voice the hurt in his chest, hoping it might ease the pain. "Why is she doing this?"  
Silence.  
Sometimes, Merlin mused, he would suffocate in silence.  
But the silence wasn't suffocating enough to keep the blonde from continuing: "Morgana is... full of hate. Uther did something to her that no words could describe."  
Merlin had to think of how she must've felt. He had Gaius, Kilgharrah and Lancelot. Morgana, on the other hand, was all alone until her sister came. Somehow, Merlin felt guilty. He could've stopped her. By being there for her.  
"Sometimes I think it wasn't her fault." Merlin turned around, surprised, now fully looking at Arthur or-... well, his side. He paid him no heed, instead continued: "But maybe my... father's. He abused her. In a way that punches and floggings never could." Arthur now also turned around, both heroes looking each other in the eyes. "How would you feel if you had to hide who you really are? If you would've been afraid every day in your life because someone wants you dead? And then of all persons - this someone has to be your father."

Oh, if you just knew...

"It would be horrible, I assume", Merlin said a bit colder than expected. A bit colder than even he thought the sting in his chest, in his heart was. "But you can't blame Uther for everything, Arthur. He chose his way. Morgana had the choice as well. And she followed her father's footsteps. But you... you can learn from their mistakes. Be the king that everyone needs. Be strong. For Camelot."  
For me, he wanted to say.  
But for that to be possible, Arthur would need to know.  
Would need to forgive. The warlock could never imagine forgiving Morgana. So how can he expect Arthur to ever forgive him?

It was one of those moments, where Arthur didn't know what to say. What to tell his friend.  
Sometimes he would just call him wise but quickly take it back. Sometimes he just said what was on his mind. But this time, he didn't say anything. He just fell asleep.

* * *

"Rise and shine!"

For a sparse moment of hope, the king pretended he was in his chambers, fast asleep. But he wasn't. He couldn't. Because that place was no longer his. This very moment, it was Morgana's.  
"Please tell me you're saying this every morning to our princess."  
Merlin nodded, not considering it necessary in the least to hide his grin from Gwaine and the other knights of the Round Table laughed. At least the ones, that escaped with them. Percival was still in the castle, captured and probably tortured by Morgana and her army.  
Arthur glared in Merlin's general direction, putting on his most threatening voice: "If we're going to survive this, then..."  
"Prat."  
"Clotpole."  
"That's my word-!"  
Their banter was interrupted when there came a sudden noise out of the forest. Frozen into place, the knights pulled out their swords. A golden-locked head appeared in front of them.  
"Leon!" The spoken-to man was out of breath.

"T-the... cost is clear, s-sire..."

If anyone was stilling in the mood to joke, it quickly dispersed. No one dared to speak. Because everyone knew: They - a handful people - would now try to stop Morgana.

"Have I already mentioned that this plan is absolutely, terribly horrible?" Well, if not in the mood to joke, then apparently, Gwaine could still be a blabbering ass. Not to Arthur's amusement. He gave him a death stare, that seemed to be saying thus, by Gwaine's sour expression: 'If you dare to say another single word - a single one! - I swear to god, I will ban you from every tavern in Camelot'.

* * *

This could've gone better.

Gwaine, Leon, Elyan, Gaius, and Gwen were all chained together, a few of Morgana's knights standing around, keeping watch. One of the knights was holding Merlin at the other side of the room and two black dressed minions held Arthur.  
They were forcing him to kneel, just like young men did when being knighted.  
Instead of a king, a father, standing with a beautiful sword before him, there was just Morgana, sitting a few inches away only on _his_ throne. On Arthur's throne.  
Though that wasn't the thing that made Arthur's eyes fill with small tears. Tears that spoke volumes. Tears that Morgana purposefully avoided looking at.  
"You are my sister... I always thought I meant something to you...", his voice was filled with pain, but his fists were clenched out of anger. Normally Morgana would shout at him, telling him how much she hates him. She would then proceed to torture Arthur's friends - his family - and break him.  
But this? This was unusual.  
She was just... silent. She stood, silently. Took one of her knights' swords, silently. Made her way to her brother - silently.  
Merlin followed every move of hers. He was watching in slow motion, ready to use and reveal his magic any moment for his friend. The man he adored most.  
The sword was raised, over Morgana's black mop of hair - and with as much concentration as he could muster, Merlin saw every centimeter it moved towards Arthur's head. Ten inches. Nine and a half. Nine. He would use his magic before the sword could come closer than the width of his arm. Just like that first day, when the dagger was coming for Arthur.

But the sword never reached his head.

"Why aren't you doing anything?!"

Morgana turned to Merlin, screeching, leaving everyone confused. Damn... A glance to Morgana, then to Arthur and back to Morgana. No... nononono.

"What?"

Fury burned golden and black in Morgana's eyes and she started to yell outraged: "You know exactly what I'm talking about! Why aren't you saving him?!" Merlin now realized how close she was. Every emotion, every twitch - Merlin could see them all. And he wanted to cry. To break down and close his eyes and never face reality again. Morgana knew that feeling all to well, tho it felt like a past life. Now, it confused her only more, seeing it on Merlin's face. It confused her. And it enraged her. A lot.  
She turned around, pointing with her boney finger at Merlin's chest.

  
"Guess what, Arthur? This man isn't any different from me", Merlin wanted to interject, but something sealed his mouth. Damn. "Because he has magic. No, he _is_ magic. He is everything you despise, everything you'd like to see crumbling in front of your very feet. Everything that Uther was, and everything that will make Emrys feel just as angry as I was. To see that hate in the eyes of someone you trusted. Of someone who you'd do anything for."

She turned back to Merlin, whose expression had shifted. Everything in Merlin screamed, his magic was throbbing, his heart was beating fast, and he was so, so cold. As much as he didn't want to, he couldn't resist but glance at his friends.  
Some faces were full of shock, others full of confusion and you can bet your horse that there was fear. And it all made Merlin so horribly desperate. There was only one face he didn't dare to look at.

"Morgana...", Merlin's voice sounded dangerous, but at the same time calm and quiet. "I'm not like you."

With everything he still held inside, the anger, the power, the helplessness, he kicked her between her legs. Morgana howled.

Arthur used the distraction and hit the two men who had been holding him down. Merlin managed to break free of the knight's grasp, kicking him and running past Morgan. Slowly, the others seemed to recover from the shock, but so did Morgana's minions. Arthur's noble, noble knights saw the situation for what it is, and yelled: "Run!"

Merlin and Arthur ran.

"Emrys!"

* * *

The crackling of fire seemed to be way louder than usual.  
Merlin didn't miss Arthur's glares.  
Everything about them made him itch and squirm and cold.  
It felt like hours before someone broke the silence - and quite possibly, it was hours.

"Is it true?", Arthur broke the silence.  
"What?"  
"What she said. That... you're a sorcerer."  
Merlin glanced dubiously at him.  
"I-I... it's just..." Arthur took a deep sigh. He could do this. He could say this. "It's just that, it would make sense. I mean: Benches falling, weapons flying - we're getting away all the time. I always thought it was luck. But now..."  
Take a breath.  
"Are you a sorcerer?"

"I assure you, Arthur, I'm..." Merlin couldn't talk. The words were stuck in his head. He was finally able to tell his best friend. He wouldn't be alone anymore. Never. No one would think he's useless anymore. It's a perfect opportunity. He dreamt of a moment like this for years. He dreamt of Arthur asking him this one, special question.  
'Are you a sorcerer?'  
He would say yes and Arthur could accept him and his kind. Albion would be born. There would be no hate and pain anymore.

...

"No."

**Author's Note:**

> Ughh. I had this OneShot posted once on Wattpad and thought I might just as well upload it here since I'm not really using Wattpad anymore. Kinda regretting it now. Literally had to edit more or less every second sentence, and it still doesn't read really smoothly.
> 
> Also lol, I have no idea anymore why I put that ending there.  
> (Maybe I wrote it when we talked about how some couples are staying together even if they don't even love each other anymore because at least they know where and who they are that way, and are too scared to change, even if it's probably for the better. So maybe Merlin was too overwhelmed with the possibility that things might change rapidly now, and he felt he wasn't ready, so even if Arthur would've accepted it, Merlin still wouldn't be able to.)  
> Or maybe I was just having my period and being moody. xD
> 
> Hope you still kinda enjoyed!


End file.
